Friday, September 25, 2009

Bugs on the Mug

So, Saturday began like every other Saturday for the past year and a half. We all woke up. Actually Levi woke us up, which is pretty normal considering he is the early riser. He is definitely a morning person. He didn't get that from me, for sure. In fact, he most certainly acquired that trait from his daddy. I think they have contests to see who can get up the earliest. I am not even kidding. I would personally sleep until noon if I could do so, guilt free. Sleep is heaven. Pure heaven, with peanut butter everywhere. But, sleep is not what this post is about.

I digress.

Levi and I went to the mall on Saturday to meet my grandmother. Because she likes to take us to the mall and we love to go to the mall with her, its a win win. So, we are walking around the mall and Levi is being the perfect little angel just sitting quietly in his stroller. My grandmother, who has worn glasses all of her life, I think, looks down at my sweet, quiet angel and says in the most matter-of-fact way possible, "Levi has lice in his hair, honey". I swear, she was that calm. I, of course, enter into an extreme state of hysteria, because I am calm like that. (Stacey, if you are reading this: it was even more hysterical than the time there was blood on his lip for the first time). I immediately start ravenging his poor innocent bug invested LONG BLONDE HAIR. Sure enough, there were lice in his hair. I am pretty sure everyone within a 5 mile radius knew my son had lice in his hair at that moment. There was no way I could have hidden that kind of hysteria. I was still in disbelief, I think. I wash his hair every night. How could this have happened. Do you want to know the worst part? I had seen those little black specks in his hair for over a week. I just assumed it was the dirt he constantly plays in and throws in the air, only to have it land in his hair and eyes.

I rushed to the nearest pharmacy in search of the largest bottle of NIX that could be bought. We get the goods and rush home to remedy the situation. The whole time, I am trying to maintain my cool, so Levi doesn't realize there are bugs in his hair. For those of you that know me, you understand this is no easy task for me. I don't do calm very well. So, I scrub him and apply the "bugout" to his hair, which has to sit there for 10 minutes. So, we splash and play and sing the alphabet while waiting for the poison to take effect. It's now time to rinse. Since the box clearly says in big bold print, "AVOID CONTACT WITH EYES", I call in daddy for back up. He lifts Levi out of the tub in a reclining position, which immediately sends Levi into tears because he doesn't want to be lifted out of the tub. He wants to stay and splash and keep the bugs in his hair. And all I want to do is be rid of the bugs. We somehow manage to get the goo out of his hair. It is much easier said than done, I can assure you.

The time has now come to rake that awful little plastic comb through his long golden locks. That was about as pleasant as trying to saw off your arm with a soup spoon. He hated every minute and so did I. After I had tortured him all that I could with the plastic rake, I stopped to let his sensitive scalp have a break. It looked like I had gotten almost all of the nits out at this point. I began tearing the house apart and washing and scrubbing and washing and scrubbing. I washed everything and every surface possible...including both dogs.

Fast forward to Monday: We bring him to daycare, thinking we had gotten rid of all the pests. At 10:00 I get a call from daycare telling me that we have to come get Levi because he still has little "black specs" in his hair. I, of course, get defensive and began relaying our entire nightmarish weekend to this poor daycare provider. I am pretty sure there were a few choice words used. Since I was unable to leave work, daddy had to come in and try again to solve the bug dilemma.

My wonderful, brilliant husband did what any smart daddy would do. He took him to "Pigtails and Crewcuts" for a crewcut. In a matter of minutes, my long blonde haired boy had a buzz cut with just enough left of top to spike up like his daddy's hair. Still, there were a few nits left in his almost non existant hair. After another hour or so of scrapping and raking at his hair, we finally got rid of the pesky problem.

I am inserting the pre-bug and post-bug hair cuts. I do not wish this mess on anyone. It was truly a nightmare. I am just so glad its over.

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